Sunday, November 29, 2009

Calming the Anxiety

I have managed to squat in my apartment for one more night but will have to get up early in the next morning, way before the sun comes up to discard the rest of my belongings and head on out. As the time grows nearer for me to vacate, for some reason I am becoming increasingly more anxious. I am pretty sure that it is my mind playing tricks on me, creating any possible negative scenario that could happen to me.

I am learning to calm these feelings and think only positively and adventurously instead. I do, however, have to admit that it is not an easy task by any means. When my fear and worry and my own perceived loneliness overwhelms me, I reassure myself that while what I am about to embark on isn't what I had ideally hoped for that I will be ultimately better off in the future.

The backpack is packed, the rest of the trash ready to be thrown out and the alarm is set for six in the morning. As my good friend Celina reminded me the other day, "If we are facing in the right direction, all that we need to do is keep walking."

Om Om.

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